Revenge can be described as the action of hurting somebody in retaliation for their wrongdoings. This desire to act in retribution to situations of the pain of injustice is widespread and has infiltrated every culture and religion in one way or another. To some extent, it is a natural human desire to seek to restore balance in a situation where they find themselves wronged. Revenge can often feel like levelling the playing field.
Why do we seek revenge?
Our ultimate desire for security often leads us to lash out when we feel threatened or hurt. The need for revenge often derives from seeking to repay those who make us feel less than. We fail to recognise that tearing people down will not make us any better than them, and it will not repair the wounds they have opened in us. Our desire to make people feel the pain they have instilled within us is not often practical. Spiteful people can take spite. We will just be weakened by the influx of hatred we feel.
Is revenge good for us?
‘An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.’
The desire for revenge is almost always an unhealthy method of coping with wrongdoing or pain. While the cultural precedent of seeking revenge is still very much alive and kicking, we must acknowledge that seeking to wrong those who have hurt us only amplifies the pains and problems we have faced in our life. We extrapolate our negativity and force it on others when we seek revenge. Choosing to grow past and learn from those who have wronged us is far more effective than being dragged down to the same level as those who cause us pain.
How to avoid revenge?
There are more effective and indeed more peaceful methods of handling wrongdoing or upset.
Settling an argument through discussion can help. Trying to resolve issues through a conversation enables those involved in a dispute to understand the opposite person’s point of view and understanding of the situation and potentially result in the finding of common ground.
Forgiveness can be an essential tool in finding closure with those who have wronged us. By choosing to work past the problem we have, we break a chain of revenge and bitterness, allowing all parties to move on with their lives. Also, occasions when those who have wronged you will not settle or act civilly towards you. At times like that, forgiveness can be a helpful tool to allow yourself peace while preventing further negative communication.
The benefit of guided meditation for those who dwell on revenge is the ability to analyse to more significant effect the power of our thoughts, both positive and negative. By learning how powerful our thoughts are in concocting our reality, we can learn to grow past a desire for revenge and instead align our thoughts to healthier coping mechanisms for the pain inflicted and invest in new and enjoyable activities that draw us away from ideas of revenge.