All of your thoughts stemming from beliefs about yourself that are false. This is the ego, it is a false persona we all put on after being conditioned by society, some of it is helpful, other parts hinder you and create massive suffering. Learn to become detached from the ego, and become detached from suffering.

How big is your ego?

“Whenever I climb I’m followed by a dog called ego”

What exactly is the ego?

To be able to separate yourself from your ego and start to live a happier life you must first understand what the ego is. Your ego is an identity that you have built, for yourself. The funny thing is, it is always false. It is made up of many beliefs that we have about ourselves, such as our talents, our personality, our qualities and our abilities. Knowing that all of our beliefs about ourselves are artificial, we can say that who we think we are, is artificial. The ego is constantly changing, whenever you interact with the world, or have a thought. It creates huge emotion in our lives, this usually leads to turmoil and drama. ANY thought you have can be added to your ego, but it is only when you agree, or begin to agree, with that thought that it becomes part of you and your self image. You tend to start agreeing with a belief about yourself, when people are constantly telling you about yourself. And it’s all wrong!

Some thoughts that contribute to our ego could be: “I am better than him”, “I am shy”, “I am funny”, “I am good at socialising” and “you shouldn’t be here”. Your ego is behind all of these judgements, and it is when you agree with these that they become part of your identity.

Where did it come from and how did we develop it?

Your ego has been developing inside you since the day you were born, slowly but surely moulding your identity. Any thought you have had about yourself, that you even slightly agree with, joins your identity. We often gather most of our beliefs when we are children. These can be from being bullied in school, passing a tough exam, or getting rejected by a girl. All of these can add to your identity, and when you finally agree with the judgments, they become a part of you.

Your ego grows when you are praised by a friend or punished by a parent. It is an ongoing process. You may have noticed by now that your ego can be good or bad, helpful or unhelpful. This is because creating a self image is a normal part of growing up and it is absolutely necessary. Issues only occur when the self image we’re creating is negative, or sometimes overly positive.

The startling thing is that it is always created in childhood, this means the identity you’ve created may not match up, at all, with the person you want to be as an adult.  Hopefully you want to be a happy and content individual. Sometime your ego prevents you from achieving this. Unfortunately some have it worse than others, it has been scientifically proven that the more contradicting negative beliefs you have about yourself, registers in the brain in the same area as physical pain. This can be traumatising for anyone to go through, and to think it is created in childhood means that maybe even your child might going through literal trauma. This is unacceptable. To make matters worse there is no mainstream way, that has a big success rate, to combat this.

How can you understand and overcome your own ego?

The ego is something that is quite difficult to put into words, because it isn’t just one thing, it is a huge amount of beliefs that a person agrees with over their life. These beliefs can be so different and strange, that they may even contradict each other. Every single person has an ego, but they are all different.  You don’t have the exact same beliefs as your best friend, or even identical twin. This is why their personalities can be so different, even with the exact same genetics.

Now it is difficult to sit down and write out your ego, because it is not well rewarded in society, so you’re probably not very good at it. but it is a skill that can be learned. This is the first step to overcoming your ego. First you must understand it.

Sometimes the ego can seem like something that’s just fact, and obviously true. This is because you have lived with these beliefs for so long, that you have become attached to them. You subconsciously don’t want to let them go. Another reason is is because you need to practice looking at them, and become used to the ego not being a part of you.

You can start to understand your ego by being aware of some negative emotions, that you feel on a regular basis. If you feel insecure in a certain situation, what were the thoughts that came before? What were you thinking that caused you to feel the way you did. You can follow the trail of whys until you get to a belief. This false belief is part of your ego and isn’t actually you. It is easy to view situations as the cause for your feelings but it isn’t, it is your ego. It is your mind regurgitating thoughts that it has embraced, and now whenever your in a situation that pokes at the belief, the mind will spring into action. It is only trying to protect you as we used to live in tribes, this was a very effective survival strategy back then. But in our modern world, it isn’t helpful at all.

Sometimes the ego can cause these negative emotions, and then blame us for feeling that way. “You shouldn’t go out people will only laugh at you” this thought creates anxiety and then another thought takes its place: “you are worthless why can’t you just be normal”.

All these attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs take place in the mind, and we assume all of them come from us. In reality it isn’t you, it is your ego.  If they really were expressions coming from your genuine self, they wouldn’t contradict, and you would have control over them.

Once you being to notice these negative emotions, and understand them, your beginning to become aware of your ego. This is a brilliant first step to overcoming the ego. This is because it enables you to detach yourself from it. If you have been living without ever being aware of your ego, you will have no idea what is causing you to act in negative way, and you end up living life miserably with no feeling of control.

Then link it with the training of guided meditation

Now that you understand why you need to become aware of your ego. You need to begin to  separate yourself from it. How exactly do you this? One way is through our guided meditations. Mediation is perfect for this, because it teaches you to become aware of that chatterbox in your head. The more you do this you become more and more separate from it.

This is because you cannot look at the ego, and at the same be a part of it. This isn’t possible. It’s similar to taking your sunglasses off to get a better look at them. They aren’t a part of you anymore. During guided meditation a qualified coach will help you separate yourself by breathing deeply, and doing nothing but being with yourself, and your ego. As you do this process more and more you will start to chip away at your ego and uncover your true self. This will make you feel more authentic, and whole as the sessions continue. A drop in depression and anxiety is commonly reported and a happier life begins.

We I’ll also implant some positive affirmations to help with this process. This gives you helpful beliefs, that do not contradict and end up helping you in many ways. These could be anything depending on your current beliefs and situation, and also how big your ego is. But anyway you will begin to see change after a couple of months of meditation, guided or not.

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