The Last Words of My Soul
This statement is a true reflection of how I lived my life—one that you might find relevant to your own story.
Sadly, the most profound lessons of life often come when it’s too late—when the chance to act on them has already passed.
This is how I would describe the tragic story of my life before leaving this world.
We often realise the value of a moment only after it has passed.
Looking back at my life, I can say:
- When I realised the importance of nurturing childhood development, my own childhood was long gone.
- When I understood the value of education, I was already too busy working.
- When I saw the potential of a fulfilling career, my body and time no longer allowed me to pursue it—I was too old.
- When I learned how to raise children wisely, my children were already grown and independent.
- When I recognised the value of health, illness had already taken its toll.
- When I grasped the true worth of money, earning it was no longer within my reach.
- When I finally understood the value of my spouse, children, family and friends—and needed them the most—they were already long gone. Some had left physically, while others had grown distant, mentally and emotionally.
- When I came to cherish the value of my parents, they had already passed away.
- When I was ready to build a connection with Allah, the distance created by a lifetime of neglect became an obstacle.
- When I finally understood the meaning of life and wished to share the wisdom it had taught me—so others might learn from my failures—my death was already standing before me.
I saw myself leaving this world as though I never came here, leaving no mark behind and making no meaningful contribution to this broken world to make it a better place.
No one enlightened me in life, but now I realise that I was responsible for my own darkness, my lack of awareness, awakening and personal growth.
Now, I see how unknown I was to my own reality—how blind I was to my infinite inner potential, the gift I was sent with and the true purpose of my life.
I thought I was successful, realistic, fulfilled and complete. But now, I see how inauthentic, lost, broken and spiritually homeless I truly was.
I pretended to be something I wasn’t just to fit into society. I showed the world what I wasn’t; what I was, I never showed.
My ego was my greatest obstruction—the root cause of all my failures and suffering.
I thought I had many enemies, but in truth, my only enemy was my own corrupt mind. I remained a prisoner of my thoughts. My fabricated mind played tricks on me and lied to me and tragically, I believed my own lies. I took the beatings of my negative mindset—a mindset shaped by my environment and upbringing—but I blamed the world.
All along, my soul whispered the truth, which I now recognise as Allah guiding me through my own soul.
This world—is the home of my father, Adam (AS)—which gave me everything, even when it was broken. And yet, I gave nothing back. It cared for me like my mother, who sacrificed everything for me, even when she had nothing left for herself.
I once thought that when I stand before Allah, I would say with pride: Labaik Allahuma Labaik (Here I am, present my Lord).
But now, I am leaving with nothing but regret and sadness in my heart.
My death has awakened my soul, but my eyes will now close forever.
What is the point now? It’s too late. Too little.
What a waste my life was—what a shame, what a regret, what a guilt, what a pity.
May this final cry of my soul awaken you before your own death does, as it did for me.
The greatest tragedy is not death, but a life lived blindly, consumed by greed and selfishness, without vision, without direction, without purpose and unknown to your true self.
